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  • Writer's picturePatty Rose

Is this the Final Civil War??


In the tangled web of history, Civil Wars stand out as peculiar episodes. They're like that awkward family dinner where everyone wants the last slice of pie and ends up arguing over it, only with muskets and ideologies instead of dessert forks. Join me on this appointment with history, where we’ll explore the oddities of Civil Wars and maybe crack a joke or two along the way.

Now, let's ponder the irony: a Civil War, where you fight tooth and nail for freedom by, well, fighting your own folks. It's like having a wrestling match with your own shadow—yeah, you might win, but did you really achieve anything? Seems a bit counterproductive, doesn’t it?

Take our country's past as an example. Our own Civil War was fought not over a piece of pie, but to end the abhorrent practice of slavery. People fought and perished for a cause that echoed the cries for freedom and justice. It wasn’t just a promise; it was a fight for the fundamental rights and dignity of human beings.

And then there's the whole concept of "brother against brother." Imagine Thanksgiving dinner conversations after the war: "Remember that time you shot at me with a cannon? Good times!" It's like a family feud gone wildly, disastrously wrong. "Let's argue politics," they said. "It'll be fun," they said.

Oh, and the battle strategies! Charging at each other in lines, firing at will. It's like a game of Red Rover, but with bayonets and a lot less giggling. Someone clearly missed the memo on modern warfare tactics.

But amidst the chuckles, let's not forget the gravity of it all. Lives lost, families torn apart, and a nation left scarred. It’s a sobering reminder that history is not just about dates and battles; it's about people—people with dreams, fears, and unwavering beliefs.

Speaking of Civil Wars, it seems even in modern sports, we have our own rendition. The Oregon Ducks and Oregon State Beavers, battling it out in a rivalry game they call the "Civil War," for the final time. The Ducks are off to the Big Ten, leaving the PAC 12 a bit lost, like a ship without a compass or a pie without a recipe.

Civil Wars are reminders that humanity’s way of solving conflicts is often as messy as a plate of spaghetti eaten without a fork. We learn from these chapters, hopefully steering clear of the next big "Civil War" brewing over the last slice of pie.

So, let’s raise a metaphorical toast to the quirks of history, the absurdities of conflict, and the hope that maybe, just maybe, we'll find better ways to settle our differences. After all, who wants to re-enact that awkward family dinner with cannons and muskets?

In conclusion, Civil Wars might seem like the peak of human irrationality, but they're also profound lessons etched into the annals of time, reminding us that even in the darkest of conflicts, there’s a glimmer of absurdity and, perhaps, a hint of hope. Let's use these lessons not to diminish anyone's experience but to inspire understanding and consideration for each other's perspectives.

Remember, folks, history might be a serious subject, but a sprinkle of humor might just make it a tad easier to digest. Cheers to learning from the past, and let's hope our future appointments with history are a bit less dramatic and a lot more peaceful.


Go Ducks!

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